Bhagwan @ Large

Me, Myself, and Me

There are times when I would like to have a dispassionate interest in the things and events that surround me. For many years, I have tried to reduce the level of stress and crap piled upon myself, by myself.

It appears to be working, as my former co-worker Rich Baker greeted me before a ball game this summer with the statement,” You look well. Tan, and…peaceful.” Certainly, this is a surface distinction from a man I’ve not “seen” in 3 years, but it brings to mind how much I have changed as a person since I left Wizards of the Coast.

I’ve stopped driving, Stopped yelling at random people, and despite my best efforts, changed for the better as a result of two long term relationships. Neither of which ended to my liking.

As a whole, I believe I have become closer to what I once envisioned for myself. I’m still an obstinate, opinionated, sometimes churlish bastard; but I’ve learned to keep certain things in, and not get overly worked up about things I cannot control.

The results are promising. My friends like me better, and note the change in my presence. I get invited to more places, and have a better time socializing and meeting new people. More importantly, I like me better, although I’m not all the way there.

Change is…change. It is not valued, or qualified. It just is. That there Serenity prayer has something going for it.

I’m working again, with great people, doing things I like. My problems with humans as a whole still exist, but I keep my feelings to myself, and at least attempt to play nice.

I haven’t wanted to chuck anybody out of a window in over a year. although I have eyed dumpsters and trashcans on occasion, and every so often feel like kicking the living crap out of someone, on behalf of another.

Time will tell.

No real point to this narrative, but it has a much different ending than it did when I started it two months ago. Seemed like the right time to get it all down.

It looks like I might have to grow a little more tonight. I’m on the fence about it, but we’ll see what happens. I’ve recently looked at pictures from last year, and I think I can do it.

Hopefully, Strand will not be picking me up off the bathroom floor tonight.

I go now, to make a phone call.

Coolness X 14

Every so often, I get reminded of exactly how cool my job is.

One of the lines we work on involves the Battletech universe, one I grew up with, have enjoyed, and danced around for many years. While I’m not a full on “Mech-head”, this is my third time around with a game adaptation of the fiction, and the second time I’ve been directly involved with the game.

That’s pretty freaking cool. But even more cool is that the books are edited a nerf shot from my desk, and there are many copies of them just lying around.

One of the cooler parts of my time at WOTC was my great relationship with the folks up in the book department. I always had reading material, and someone was always getting rid of some book they didn’t want.

Heaven, heaven, I says. I read great books, (often those written by my co-workers and friends), and stayed entrenched in the world of Dungeons and Dragons, which made me an even better editor and author.

Now, I get paid (amongst other things) to think of cool stuff to do with this game. When I mention some point to one of my peer-managers regarding these novels, (which I explain I am starting on this weekend), his response is to load me up with the full set.

All of them.

Now that’s cool. I’m working extra hard for him this week.

While I’m over at the book case, I look down at a different shelf, and am reminded of that other Universe my company deals with. My smile gets bigger, because I’m looking at an exact duplicate of a bookshelf in my house.

While I’m not making D&D anymore, I still make games. Damn good ones.

And that’s the coolest thing of all.