Bhagwan @ Large

Two Months is a long time #fb

I’m not even going to try and summarize. Added categories which should catch just about everything to this post.

So I guess I should talk about two things in particular. TiVO and weight loss. Or rather, the lack of both since January.

The TiVO situation is a customer service nightmare, one which seems to have resolved, but not necessarily in my favor. There is a working box here in my home, which connects to the internet and/or the cable service as it chooses. If there is a Seattle local who would like to take TiVO for a test drive, I’m just about done with it. My contract expires in October, and two months without it has retrained my brain.

Two working Dvrs attached to my televison sounded like a great plan. Especially since they both have dual tuners, use different remotes and operating systems, and have about the same capacity.

But when I turn the television on, I’m checking out the cable first. The service that Lindsey is more comfortable with by far. The one I can cancel at will. The one that doesn’t make financial decisions on my behalf, against my express instructions.

The one that works.

In just a few days/weeks, there will be a media PC attached to this same television. It will do everything that TIVO does, and be even harder to use as a dvr. But we own that machine outright, can upgrade it at will, and also do more with it.

The case against TiVO mounts daily. At present, it’s the dvr that will allow us to save programs off and then burn them to DVDs. We are not doing that at present. It was part of my grand techno-plan, but that plan was concieved a while ago.

Two months is a long time.

I’m not sure what the plan is anymore. I needed a new computer at the end of January, after wanting one for sone time. I’ve been doing a lot of ‘need v want’ calculations of late, and needs that are really just wants happen to be free.

My computer was not free. It could have cost me much less than it did by far. Machines that could do the job I’m asking for would have come in at 2/3 the price, even without the customer service hassles I battled through to get it. But then I added a heaping helping of WANT on top, and the overall price of a rig I can use to work on for the next couple years doubled.

And I’m not entirely sure it’s finished.

Attention spans (including mine) are flagging, so I’ll leave you with this. A very wise man once said, “in time, you will find that having is not so great a thing as wanting.”

I’m looking at my half-finished system, with a giant stack of media as yet unwatched alongside, and I’m convinced that green blooded, inhuman sophist was right. What’s worse, I’m not really sure I wanted it in the first place. Maybe I just like shopping, and putting things together.

More later.

January 5, 230

Not a typo.

Weighed in for the first time in two months, and was neither surprised nor pleased by the result. I haven’t lost an ounce. On the bright side, I haven’t gained any weight since November, but that’s hardly the point.

I currently weigh 230 lbs.

Again.

Three years ago today I weighed exactly 50 lbs less. Two years ago I weighed 50 lbs less. Last year, the number was 40.

To say I am not happy with the results of 2009 would be an understatement. Things more or less went down hill right after that last post, when I ran out of money. Eating habits change dramatically when you can’t buy what you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

By April, I was buying new pants.

I’m wearing them now. They are among the only clothes I have that fit, and this. Must. Change.

No matter what size shoulders I have, 230 lbs is not acceptable. Long-term readers may remember that this was originally my goal weight, at which time I spent a great deal of money on suits that would now fit me, had I not given them away. Especially when compared to the low point of 165 (July, 07).

There are two very apparent reasons for this. One, I’m eating too much of things I should not. I’m not maintaining discipline in my life, sliding here, sliding there, and it adds up. I still eat 4 meals a day, and for the most part, they are responsible ones. But all it takes is one extra snack, one meal larger than it should be, and the body remembers.

Remembers being homeless, starving, 140 lbs. Remembers being so cold on a park bench that no amount of shivering could warm us up, so we just kept walking, eating grapefruit picked from the tree and boiling a 1 dollar bag of rice in stages so it would last all week.

Two, I made a (correct) decision to adopt a gluten-free lifestyle in May of last year. This in and of itself was not an issue, but exploring other food options to replace bread led me back to free-range carbs such as potatoes, chocolate, and butter. these are among my favorite things, and so easily did my body welcome them back into my life. Discovering how to have pizza again, gluten-free beers, mashed potatoes, cake, cookies…

This is why I can’t have nice things.

I am on notice. I have put myself there. 50 lbs by Opening Day. That’s three months from now, and I have a closet full of not cheap sporting apparel that will thank me for it.

After all, Opening Day 2006 was the decision to start losing weight in the first place.

Packing responsible, not-snacky lunches all this week. Baked a fresh loaf of bread last night, and took care to slice it as thin as possible with my hands and knife. menu items planned for the rest of the week, new cycle starting on Monday.

It’s time for change.

This has been your state of the Bhagwan address. Expect more, or rather, less.