Bhagwan @ Large

Hello, Summer

Sure, it’s a couple days early, but the cats don’t seem to mind.

Much.

I have one on my lap right now, whose presence has completely derailed what I was going to write. Silly, silly gato.

No-one is likely to care but me, but the page links at left are messed up right now. when upgrating this theme, they “came loose” from their locations, and I need to get them synced up again. No real biggie, but given the frequency with which I do not update, folks might be lonely for content I ignore on a regular basis.

Or not.

If memory serves, they should be the following:

http://www.bhagwanx.com/everything/ ‎

http://www.bhagwanx.com/rage/

http://www.bhagwanx.com/11days/

http://www.bhagwanx.com/writer/

(redirect to bhagwanx.com)

http://www.bhagwanx.com/wbaseball2010/

http://www.bhagwanx.com/yes-that-thing…you-were-a-kid

The cat has gone off to groom herself, leaving me free to type without sneezing (total lie, I just did). With a hypothetical batch of medical test coming up, I’ve decided to go back on the Bun. I’m talking bread, baby, pain be damned. I need to know what’s happened to my body in the last couple years, and if there’s been any sort of “improvement” in my condition. To whit, there’s a class of bloos tests that more or less require me to eat something I know is bad for me.

CAKE.

Sandwiches are nice too. I would like to have some, yes I would. I bought bread for the first time in a year today, as well as pre-made pizza crusts. I’m not going to stop baking the “good” stuff, but for a while I’ll be adding in regular, glutinous goodness to my diet.

More in a bit, but I can say that I’m already feeling the effects in my joints. It could also be the two hours of drumming I did today in emulation of Ringo Starr. Only time will tell.

January 5, 230

Not a typo.

Weighed in for the first time in two months, and was neither surprised nor pleased by the result. I haven’t lost an ounce. On the bright side, I haven’t gained any weight since November, but that’s hardly the point.

I currently weigh 230 lbs.

Again.

Three years ago today I weighed exactly 50 lbs less. Two years ago I weighed 50 lbs less. Last year, the number was 40.

To say I am not happy with the results of 2009 would be an understatement. Things more or less went down hill right after that last post, when I ran out of money. Eating habits change dramatically when you can’t buy what you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

By April, I was buying new pants.

I’m wearing them now. They are among the only clothes I have that fit, and this. Must. Change.

No matter what size shoulders I have, 230 lbs is not acceptable. Long-term readers may remember that this was originally my goal weight, at which time I spent a great deal of money on suits that would now fit me, had I not given them away. Especially when compared to the low point of 165 (July, 07).

There are two very apparent reasons for this. One, I’m eating too much of things I should not. I’m not maintaining discipline in my life, sliding here, sliding there, and it adds up. I still eat 4 meals a day, and for the most part, they are responsible ones. But all it takes is one extra snack, one meal larger than it should be, and the body remembers.

Remembers being homeless, starving, 140 lbs. Remembers being so cold on a park bench that no amount of shivering could warm us up, so we just kept walking, eating grapefruit picked from the tree and boiling a 1 dollar bag of rice in stages so it would last all week.

Two, I made a (correct) decision to adopt a gluten-free lifestyle in May of last year. This in and of itself was not an issue, but exploring other food options to replace bread led me back to free-range carbs such as potatoes, chocolate, and butter. these are among my favorite things, and so easily did my body welcome them back into my life. Discovering how to have pizza again, gluten-free beers, mashed potatoes, cake, cookies…

This is why I can’t have nice things.

I am on notice. I have put myself there. 50 lbs by Opening Day. That’s three months from now, and I have a closet full of not cheap sporting apparel that will thank me for it.

After all, Opening Day 2006 was the decision to start losing weight in the first place.

Packing responsible, not-snacky lunches all this week. Baked a fresh loaf of bread last night, and took care to slice it as thin as possible with my hands and knife. menu items planned for the rest of the week, new cycle starting on Monday.

It’s time for change.

This has been your state of the Bhagwan address. Expect more, or rather, less.